Beauty blog: Are your McLean’s showing?

Madison magazine

Madison magazine

Maintenance, maintenance, maintenance. When will it ever end? Latest tick-off item: teeth whitening. The supremely kind Dr Nader Malik ( – who has just opened his clinic – asks me to come in and trial his whitening system. In an attempt to lull you into being less freaked out about your dental appointment he has installed a “chill out” room with massage chair and herbal tea. So, suitably lulled, I assume the position.

Nader uses the Pola Office + system of whitening. So dental dam (the mind boggles about the uses for such a thing) in place he coats my teeth with whitening gel and then proceeds to use a hand-held activation light which he places over my teeth for three, eight-minute sessions. The man must have nerves of steel to hold the portable light source still for that length of time. Now I know that eight minutes doesn’t sound like a long time but even with the “soothing” music meant to relax me I am on tender hooks waiting for the final beeps. It’s just my thing. Ever since I was a kid in the chair at the local Roseville dentist I have crossed all of my digits – hands, feet, fingers. Some stupid luck thing, hoping against hope for no fillings.

The last eight minute hurdle seems interminable as I count down the beeps. Nader does say most people “just drift off the sleep”. Not me sister. I have a highly developed gag reflex (just lucky I guess) that keeps me on the edge of my seat. Sadly my poor eldest son has also inherited this trait. You should hear us attempting to snorkel.

The session ends and my teeth do look dazzling and, to be honest, it was totally painless. So, go forth and embrace the great white teeth. You have to steer clear of the all those good coloured things, like coffee, red wine and red meat for at least 48 hours but white wine and cauliflower cheese (really?) are still on the menu.